What Somatic Sex Therapy Is Not

Somatic Bodywork, Clear Boundaries and What to Expect

This is an important part of my work to understand before we begin. These boundaries help create a safe, respectful container for you and for me.

1) How bodywork happens (online and in person)

I mostly work online, which means any body-based practices are guided using your hands and your own touch, with my support and somatic tools.

Sometimes clients work with me in person after a period of online sessions. In-person bodywork may include touch from my hands or yours, depending on the practice we choose and what feels appropriate, safe, and consented to by both of us.

2) We always begin with talk-based therapy

Before any body-based practices (online or in person), we always build a foundation of talk-focused somatic therapy. There is no touch, no bodywork, and no practical exercises until we have established trust and I feel confident that you can recognise and communicate your body’s cues of consent.

I will never rush body-based work.

3) Touch is never “two-way”

Bodywork is not two-way touch, it is one-way and client-centred.

If touch is offered by me in person, it is done with clear therapeutic intention, and is gloved when appropriate, in the same way a GP or medical practitioner would maintain professional standards and boundaries.

Touch is always for therapeutic purposes only.

4) This is therapy, not a sexual service

Somatic Sex Therapy is not sex work, and it is not a sexual service.
This isn’t a judgement of sex work, it’s simply an important clarification about the therapeutic container and professional boundaries.

5) The work is not sexual interaction with the therapist

This is not a sexual interaction between client and therapist.

The focus is always on your relationship with your body, your consent, and your internal experience, not on creating sexual connection, chemistry, or fantasy involving the practitioner.

It’s completely normal for sexual feelings, attraction, or fantasy to arise in a therapeutic space, this can sometimes be part of erotic transference. If it happens, we can name it safely and work with it without judgement.

The purpose of this work is not to involve me in your sexual fantasy, it is to support you to stay connected to your body and the therapeutic process.

6) Witnessing sessions are structured and therapeutic

Witnessing sessions are not sexual entertainment. They are a form of structured therapeutic support.

My role is to help you stay present with your body, track your boundaries, reduce shame, and support nervous system safety, not to observe you for arousal or gratification.

Arousal may be present because the client is working with sexual material, but that does not make the space sexual between client and therapist.

7) The goal is not performance, arousal, or climax

The goal of somatic sex therapy is not to perform, and it is not to “achieve” arousal or climax.
The focus is on embodied consent, safety, pacing, self-connection, and building your capacity for choice and presence in your body.

8) Practices are time-bound and can stop at any time

Somatic practices are time-bound within the session, and they are not ongoing. If we set a time container for a practice, when that time ends, the practice ends. This supports the nervous system and helps prevent “endurance” or pushing through.

Practices are never required to last the full time, and they can be ended early at any moment if needed by the client or therapist if deemed appropriate.

9) Choice and consent are always central

You are always in choice.

Nothing is done to you. Nothing is performed for me.
The work is guided by your therapeutic needs, and we move forward only with clear consent, ongoing communication, and respect for your boundaries.

10) Sessions are not recorded

Somatic Sex Therapy sessions are not recorded by the therapist and should not be recorded by the client.

11) Breach of Boundaries

I maintain clear professional boundaries at all times. These boundaries exist to protect you, the work, and the therapeutic container and the therapist. If they are breached, or if I feel my safety or professional integrity is compromised, I may pause or end our work together immediately. Any sessions that have been paid, used or not are non-refundable in this instance.

FAQs

Do I have to do bodywork or self-touch in sessions?
No. Body-based work is always optional. Many sessions are entirely talk-based, and we only explore somatic practices if they feel supportive and consented to.

Is masturbation coaching “performing” for the therapist?
No. If guided self-touch is part of the work, it is for your therapeutic benefit, not for my gratification. The focus is on safety, pacing, consent, and staying connected to your own body.

What if I feel awkward, ashamed, or disconnected?
That’s incredibly common, and it’s often part of what we’re here to support. We go slowly, we pause when needed, and we work with what’s true in the moment without forcing anything.

Can I stop or change my mind halfway through a practice?
Always. You can pause, stop, or change direction at any time, no explanation required.

What if attraction or fantasy comes up?
That can happen, and it’s not something to be ashamed of. We don’t act it out. We can name it safely and bring the focus back to your body, boundaries, and therapeutic goals.