Where did Somatic Sexology originate from?
Born from the AIDS pandemic in the 80’s and birthed in the the world by Joeseph Cramer and Annie Sprinkle, Somatic Sexology is still a relatively unknown modality.
It evolved over time as they saw how powerful it was in helping people heal from trauma, calm the nervous system and feel a deeper sense of connection and greater ability to experience pleasure.
Somatic Sexology is based in the foundations of the wheel of consent created by Betty Martin and also encompass training by Ellen Heed, Deborah Sundahl and Bettie Martin.
What is Somatic Sex Therapy?
In therapy, somatic work is a body-based approach that pays attention to what’s happening in your nervous system, sensations, breath, tension, emotions, and impulses, not just your thoughts and words.
So instead of only talking about the story and intellectualising thoughts and feelinsg, somatic therapy also explores things like:
tightness in your chest, jaw, throat, belly
numbness or “going blank”
shaking, restlessness, frozen stillness
feeling on edge, shut down, disconnected
the body’s yes/no signals (boundaries, consent)
It’s especially helpful for trauma, because trauma often shows up as body responses (fight/flight/freeze/fawn), even when your mind knows you’re “safe”.
What does it involve?
The way I work with clients initially starts with talking sessions and Somatic practices to help you connect to your body to discover your inner wisdom, clarity and release trauma held in the body.
I only offer body work sessions, whether in person, or on Zoom after we have spent a few sessions laying the foundations of trust, communication.
Sessions are 90 minuets long each with the exception of the first session which is usually around 2 hours.
Session structure would include, opening the session and discussing what we will be working on, setting the intention, Somatic and body work practices relevant to your exploration and learning, then time for reflection at the end of the session.
Somatic Sex Therapy is incredibly powerful, the power comes from the steady pace we work and at the pace your nervous system is ready for. Not rushing but working at a pace that is right for your body.
The magic is in the slowing down and really taking time to connect to your body. It’s not a quick fix.
The minimum amount of sessions I work with someone for is 8 and on a weekly or bi weekly basis for consistency.
Sex Therapy with me can cover the following thing depending on your needs:
Communication - Helping you to feel what is a yes and a no and communicate that. This could involve speaking games between us to help build your confidence with communication and embodied sense of feelings.
Body Confidence - Helping you with body confidence around getting undressed and being naked
Needs and Desires - Using talking sessions to explore your needs, desires and sexuality
Genital Mapping - This can be through self touch or by myself depending on what feels right and if were in person or on zoom. This is exploring parts of your genitals and can be internal or external. Benefits of this are being able to notice if you have numbness pain, struggle to feel anything during sex. Genital mapping literally helps you create a map of your body so you can better understand it. During these sessions I’d also be using specific talking coaching methods which help connect new neural pathways. This can be really helpful if you have scar tissue from assaults or something like an Episiotomy.
Scar Tissue Remediation - When we develop scar tissue that continues to produce Collagen which penetrates through the different layers of the skin. This process is amazing and helps us heal but can also cause a knock on effect with a woolly jumper type effect where it pulls other tissues and can cause pain and discomfort, pelvic floor issues, back pain, numbness or changes in sensation. Scar tissue also holds implicit memory, or subconscious memories. Working to help break down scar tissue also helps integrate the emotional and mental blocks and sticking points that may have been created around that also. Its an incredibly powerful modality that helps physically as well as emotionally. This can be done to any part of the body.
Body Poem Sessions - Helping you to connect with what your feeling in the body and find radical acceptance.
Orgasmic Yoga - Helping you explore your sensuality and body through breath work, music and meditation.
Masturbation Coaching - Many people feel a tremendous amount of shame when it comes to self pleasure. If you have got used to relying on pornography or only using a vibrator and struggle to reach climax with hands or mouth it may be that you have become desensitized or that your body and mind has got used to that one way of reaching climax. With masturbation coaching we start with talking sessions to help you understand your relationship with self pleasure and where you can expand that exploration. Ultimately the more you understand and connect with your body the more pleasure you’ll feel and the more able you are to communicate that with others if you are in relationships.
Empowering you
As I mentioned earlier, all sex coaching with me begins with talking. Sometimes our work will stay there, and sometimes it may develop to include body work, depending on what feels right for you.
Before any body work work takes place, it’s essential that you feel truly empowered in your HELL YES, and clear in your NO. This means understanding your boundaries, being able to communicate them confidently, and knowing you are always in control of the pace, the process, and what happens next.